Call it weird, call me bizarre... it's ok. I can take it. :)
I sat down at dinner tonight with my soon to be ex husband. We had to iron out the final child support and parenting plan paperwork for our divorce. The rest of the papers were filed with the courts weeks ago. These last parts have to be filed now, 10 days before it is officially final.
We had already "hammered out" (so to say) the details. I just wanted to confirm with him how he wants to pay me - through the State or through me - and a few other minor things. It went super well. We always talk reasonably through these discussions. He is very good to me and the kids. He has all the money, but he's not unwilling to make sure his children are well cared for. I admire him for his generosity and I respect him for it. So, we got it all worked out and I will finish the paperwork myself tonight and tomorrow. Then all I have to do is send it in with a $25 Money Order and it's going to be over. It seems kind of anti-climactic... just mailing it in like a mail order purchase... I started to cry a little at dinner, and he sweetly took my hand from across the table. I looked into his eyes and he was crying too. It's wonderful parting as friends, but sometimes very painful too.
Sixteen years, the birth of 6 children, and the death of two of them, and it's just over. OVER. My heart is relieved. My soul is now being nourished, my ego rebuilding, my children loved and being fathered for the first time. It's such a good thing, and yet so very sad too. We always talked about the sweet life we would have once the kids were grown and gone. Time for just us - finally! As we hugged good-bye in the driveway, he whispered in my ear... "We were supposed to get old together..." We both cried HARD and then said goodbye.
It's such a bittersweet time, and so packed full of emotions....
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4 comments:
{{{{hugs}}}}
It makes me cry a little too. You're both such good people.
I just saw the URL for this blog. ROFL!
I, too, had a few tears reading this. Sometimes it is meant that you are to be better at being friends, than life partners. You can never regret the times, good or bad, you shared...because that has made you, and your children, who you are today!
You're so right. It's been an amazing journey. There were some good times and some hearty laughter, but upon reflection I am happy to be letting go of many painful times and many nights of crying myself to sleep in lonliness. I'm stronger than ever and ready to live on! (((hugs))) Thanks, you guys!
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